Written by Monique Jordan-Cave

Leadership and Holistic Coach

Okay, grab a cuppa and take a seat.

This is a big one.

How to Build Your Confidence and Overcome Your Fears

Confidence sometimes feels like it’s something that other people have lots of and others, not enough.

We’ve all had moments in our lives when fear has stopped us from doing something we REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to do.

You may want to progress and skill up in your career.

You might be like me, and you want to transition from 9-5 to business owner.

Or, you have some tough decisions to make in your personal life.

The thing is, in your lifetime, you’ve learned to do things that were new or difficult before. Right?

The more you did it, the more confident you felt. Right?

So what is different now?

Think about a time in your life when fear stopped you from doing or saying something.

👉 What thoughts ran through your mind?

👉 What emotions did you feel?

👉 What would you do differently, if you were in that situation now?

We’ve all broken through lots of fearful experiences in our lives.

I was afraid to go for gymnastic try-outs when I was seven.

I was sick to my stomach to interview at a company I had ALWAYS wanted to work at.

I was even more afraid of starting my coaching journey and I was petrified of recording my first #MJTV episode.

I mean, my face out there in the world – vom!

Or worst still, no one watches!!!

But, here’s the thing about fear…

It’s only as powerful as you make it.

1. Self-Belief Mindset

Self-confidence is about you trusting in your judgements and believing in your abilities.

Feeling like you are valuable and worthy, regardless of any imperfections OR of what others may believe about you.

Remember, all humans are equally imperfect!

EVERYONE has self-doubts, but you ALWAYS have the power to make a choice.

Fear itself is not the problem, fear is the reaction to the problem.

Continuing to tell yourself, over and over and over again that you can’t go for that promotion, you can’t transition from 9-5 to business owner or you can’t speak up for yourself, simply means, that you won’t and nothing changes.

What problem in your head,

is stopping you from living in real life?

Shift your mindset.

Do me a favour…

The same amount of time you spend telling yourself that you can’t.

I want you to start spending that same amount of time telling yourself that you can!

Think of all the times in your life when you felt fearful of doing or saying something, but you did it or said anyway.

• What thoughts ran through your mind?

• What emotions did you feel?

Did you experience a little boost of confidence? ;-)

Will you challenging your inner voice?

2. Confidence is built in the doing

Your self-confidence increases when you're able to say, "I can do this, and here's the evidence."

With every leap of faith you will see and feel the results which ultimately gives you the motivation to keep going.

You’ll start to feel more powerful and confident.

Before making my first YouTube video, I felt sick to my stomach and I convinced myself that I couldn’t go through with it.

But I HAD TO TRY because I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to do it.

I had tissues behind me because my hands kept getting clammy and sweaty. lol

To be honest, they still do, but, my last video didn’t feel as petrifying as the first.

I’m not as nervous now because I can say I’ve done it before (and nothing bad happened!).

Fear and excitement release the same chemicals in the brain but makes you feel a different vibe.

Ride it out, baby!

Because when I receive comments or emails about how helpful The Leadership and Alignment Lounge episodes are, to magical humans out there in the world, it makes my heart and spirit burst.

And it makes my sweaty hands worth it!

If I can push through my fears, so can you!

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Believe in yourself…

Take action…

Speak up…

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”

When will you start?

3. Focus on progress

For every win (big and small) that I want to make in my business and personal life, I note it all down in my Trello board.

At least once a week I make time to reflect on the goals I have accomplished and what I have learned.

• What new skills have I learned?

• What I am grateful for?

• How have I grown and what have I learnt about myself?

• What could I have done differently and how can I make it better?

• How can I use what I’ve learned to help others?

Acknowledge your wins.

It’s far too easy to forget what you have done, to get to where you are.

This isn’t a sprint.

Praise your efforts instead of judging your abilities!

RECAP:

1. Self-Belief Mindset:

Shift your mindset and start believing in yourself. I believe in you. Lots of people do.

2. Gain confidence in action:

Lean into fear and challenge the situation. Confidence is built from taking action. It may feel like breaking but you are growing fellow unicorn.

3. Focus on Progress:

Sometimes we get bogged down in our present thoughts and forget how much we have accomplished. Reflect upon where you started and how far you have come, and DON’T GIVE UP!

How Will You Challenge Your Fears?

Let me know in the comments below.

Please feel free to share this article with a loved one, friend or colleague.

MJx