4 Reasons Why You Are Not Achieving Your Goals

Written by Monique Jordan-Cave

Transformation & Life-Style Coach

How many times have you tried (or wanted to try) asking for a raise or promotion?

Or… you decided to start using Trello DAILY to manage your projects, planning content and life but… you never log in and the day well… just blends into the night?

OR Tuesday 12th of blah blah was going to be the day that you started working out, 5 times per week for at least 2hrs per session and NOTHING was going to stop you.

Tuesday 12th of never rolled by and… you now feel crappy because, well, you didn’t work out and haven’t for the past few months.

You are NOT less than…

You are NOT thoughtless...

You are NOT “weak”…

You are a fully functioning human being capable of administering multiple tasks, sometimes simultaneously!

We all set ourselves goals, myself included and sometimes, even with the best intentions, I don’t achieve them.

Yeah, I said it! I’m just like everyone else! lol

Does that mean that I should ridicule myself for the rest of my life?

Damning myself to eternal darkness and woe because I didn’t go for a run on Wednesday!

No, darling.

Here are:

4 Reasons why you may NOT be achieving your goals

1.   Imposter Syndrome

Little Miss Nut Nut (a.k.a. my brains nemesis) takes over.

Sometimes it’s a little and quiet voice, whispering negative nothings into your ear and at other times, it’s so large and loud you feel other people can hear her!

This is your inner critic telling you, “You are not good enough”, “You shouldn’t be in this room, you’re not smart enough”, Don’t say anything, you’ll embarrass yourself”, “You can’t go for that job”, “You are not worth a raise”!

Why does she always have to be such a negative Doris?

So what happens, you change your goals or plans because you believe you’ll fail. Which leads to genuine heart ache.

Experiencing doubt is normal, just don’t let the thoughts control your actions. Acknowledge your thoughts, challenge them and put them into perspective.

The next time negative Betty says you can’t do something, ask her “Why can’t I”?

If she still pipes up, ask her to make a list of all the reasons why you can’t.

Then go through the list and check what is TRUE!

If you have the skills for the promotion, why can’t you go for it?

You have what you need and you have the power to break the habit of your mind.

2.   Big, Big, Big Dreamer

You have big ambitions, a lot of ideas and your goals are enormous.

You want to climb Kilimanjaro in the next 30 days, with no training, in the middle of a pandemic… totally realistic!

Taking on too much tends to leave us demotivated with depleting passion levels.

Big dreams are what life is really made of BUT get S.M.A.R.T.E.R about your goals and what you really want, NOW and what impact it will have on your future.

Mmmm, Monique, what are S.M.A.R.T.E.R goals???

SPECIFIC: Make sure that it is clearly defined and identified. "I want to... so that I can do/be/achieve..."

MEASURABLE: Identify exactly what it is you will see, hear and feel when you reach your goal. Break it down!

ATTAINABLE: Challenge yourself but anything too ambitious will kill your motivation. Dream but keep it real! x

REALISTIC: Do you have enough time and resources? A realistic goal, if you believe it, can be accomplished!

TIME-BOUND: Set yourself a deadline. Not just, "whenever".

EVALUATE: Creating a small simple system to evaluate daily, increases your chance of achieving your goal. Why? You can lose focus on your long-term (3 - 6 months) goals, if you don't check-in daily!

RE-ADJUST: Life happens and we are constantly having to be flexible. A bird doesn't fly in a straight line, it has ups and downs and works with its environment. Your goals are no exception to the rule! Readjust your method and/or techniques.

The latter two being really important for keeping your sanity and evading the feeling of failure.

3.   Saying Yes, Yes, Yes!

You say yes too much.

You switch between goals because you want to do “all the things, all the time” leading you to become a champion flip flopper lol

OR

You have a massive heart and want to “help everyone” – especially because you have the skills and experience to do so!

Say NO to create the space and time to say YES for YOURSELF!

You don’t have to stop saying yes to people…

But you should always say yes to yourself!

4.   Distraction

You have the best intentions to get this done.

You have the kids or your cats running around you and you feel there is no way out…

OR

You’ve sat at your desk with all the necessary tools and research to make this happen.

You check your phone because the screen just flashed up and YOU HAVE TO CHECK IT…

Which leads you to reading all 33 unread emails in your inbox and an hour has flown by.

Not to mention clicking a few links in said emails which led you to watching at least 4 YouTube videos (the last 3 had nothing to do with the original video).

You suffer from shiny object syndrome (my favourite) where the slightest thing distracts you, which leads to procrastination…

Or better still, you LET IT DISTRACT YOU because, perish the thought that you finish what you are doing and feel the success of achieving it!

People say they have a fear of failure but, I truly believe they have “A Fear of Success”.

Success in achieving your goals means you have to show up, be present, challenge and stretch yourself again and again.

Uncomfortable and icky - huh!

Focus on what needs to be done and allocate yourself time to get it done.

Distractions will always be there, you have no emotional connection to the distractions (except for the kids and cats of course). Lol

You have an emotional connection to what you really want and know why you want to do it. It’s highly probable obtaining your goal will benefit your little ones and those around you. Win win!!!

Remember, the next time you get that burning sensation to double-check that flashing screen – DON‘T!

Better yet, turn it off for a moment to complete your task.

What you WANT and NEED is more IMPORTANT.

Recap:

1.          Imposter Syndrome – Don’t let your thoughts control you. Listen and have the conversation with yourself. Challenge your thoughts.

2.         Big Dreamer – Get specific and focus on what you want NOW. What is going to have the most positive impact, now, in the future and on your other goals.

3.         Saying Yes (TOO MUCH) – Saying no allows you to create space to say yes to the things that fill your love cup and help you achieve your goals!

4.         Distraction – The things that are distracting you are not serving you. Focus and take action on what is most important. Your needs and desires!

Sound familiar?

If you didn’t know already, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

If something is important, time can be made for it. However its super important to remember that “shit happens”. Life happens and we can’t always walk in a straight line.

Remember your SMART(ER) emergency bank: Evaluate and Re-Adjust your goals but stay focused and committed.

A little bit of something leads to change.

A little bit of nothing, leads to, well… nothing.

You have the power to get shit done!

If you struggle with any of the above, and you’d like more personal support, join the Love Cup Lounge Mailing List and Fill your Love Cup Tool here.

Please feel free to share this article with a loved one, friend or colleague.

MJx