Coping with Fears and Anxiety
Written by Monique Jordan-Cave
Leadership and Holistic Coach
As tragic as it is to believe…
Life isn’t always unicorns, rainbows, magic and pink candy floss… all of which normally rule my universe.
I have to confess…
Over the last 4/5 months, at times, I have felt really low… quite crappy to be honest… confused and emotional.
And at other times, I have felt amazingly wonderful and happy, clear minded and super grateful for everything that I have and all the new opportunities that have come my way.
All whilst trying to remain a fully functioning “normal” human being (i.e. juggling guilt and responsibility) who is capable of maintaining both professional and personal relationships, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
I’m not sure about you but for me, it’s been tough and the emotional rollercoaster is exhausting.
I’ve never felt anxiety or been very fearful of much before, but, for the first time in my adult life, even being the most cautious (and CLEAN) person that I am, I was starting to experience heart palpitations when I needed to go food shopping.
Not feeling free or safe enough to be able to go for a jog in the morning was starting to leave me feeling sluggish and tired (ALL THE TIME). Feeling confined, I started getting regular headaches - not to mention my upside-down appetite…
Hello 6lbs 2oz!
I started to focus on and fear getting sick and worst still, giving it to my partner (who I live with). I even started to fear, with great intensity, I would get it from them.
Being in the midst of a global health crisis, experiencing fear and anxiety are perfectly logical emotions to have (including consequential weight gain).
But the good news is, you don’t need to feel that way all the time.
Here are just a few things I have in my #LoveCupToolkit which I practice to help me pull myself out of the deep abyss that can sometimes be my mind.
I am an equally imperfectly human being after all!
1. Re-direct Your Thoughts
There are a lot of things in life that you can’t control. All of these things can cause you some level of fear and anxiety.
What is MOST IMPORTANT, is the view and focus we have in our OWN HEADS. Being aware of and re-directing your thoughts to what you can control will better serve you. We can’t change the global health crisis but, we can control our actions and make the situation better by wearing a mask, gloves (if necessary) and washing our hands.
Most importantly to remember, we definitely have control over and can change our space at home.
Our current set up for now (or for some, long-term) is Working From Home/Working From Anywhere (which I actually looooovve).
But if it’s not for you, try taking control of your space.
What changes can you make to your current environment so that it works for you, not against you?
I have also found that having at least two different work space areas in my flat, ready for action (clear and tidy with everything that I need) is great.
I get bored of sitting in the same place day-in-day-out so the change actually helps me focus better.
2. Slow Down My Love (and listen)
Remember the nightmare commute to and from work?
The forever athlete performance thoughts racing through your mind?
I worked in the media and entertainment industry for over 18 years, fast pace in the norm – like with most corporate jobs.
Recognising that you need to go at the RIGHT PACE FOR YOU is important.
Have you recently felt like, you have more time now, but you can’t find time to get anything done? Lol
Yes, we are practically “standing still” and you may think you’ve done nothing but slow down because you haven’t been able to go outside freely but, your mind is still racing – probably more so.
Freedom starts with your mind.
Listen to yourself.
Once the external noise and your internal nattering “Little Miss Nut Nut” has quietened down, you’ll be amazed what you hear.
What new things have you learned about yourself, now you have had time to slow down?
3. What Good Stuff Is Happening Right Now
It’s apparent more than ever that the world we live in isn’t as rosy as the pictures that are airbrushed in magazines, screamed in the news or strategically placed on television.
The race and gender crisis around the world bears heavy on my soul, daily. It’s difficult to stay positive sometimes.
I like to take:
Daily Mindful Moments:
Positive meditation helps me focus on all the positives in my life, everything that I have, appreciate and am grateful for.
I also use:
Journaling:
It’s a great way to brain sneeze my thoughts and feelings (positive and negative) and get “all the words” out of my head.
It’s also a lovely way to validate my ideas, thoughts and emotions.
Because they ARE VALUABLE!
Upon re-reading, it gives me THREE brilliant outcomes:
It gives me clarity into what is actually going on in my mind. Not just what I think is in my mind.
It enables me to be more aware of what my triggers are. Then I can intercept my brains negative process with my vast Love Cup Tool Kit!
Release and Learn. Sometimes, what I write down doesn’t make any sense at all! However at the time, it made perfect sense. And that’s OKAY, it was and is my safe space to vent, Release and Learn.
What helps you and brings you back to a positive state of mind when you are feeling low?
Drop it in your Love Cup Tool Kit!
4. Stay Active and Change It Up
I love going for a jog in the morning (I would love to say that I run but I am no Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce) and I’m a massive fan of strength training, reading, yoga and Barre.
Heading out for an early morning JOG and changing my route, has always helped me keep my stress levels down, clear my mind and maintain a good level of cardio health.
Whilst Reading, Strength Training, Yoga and Barre help me mentally, physically, holistically and spiritually.
What physical activities do you enjoy?
Put them in your #LoveCupToolKit and use them dependent upon your mood/needs!
5. Talk To Your Peeps
People need people, people!
Even borderline shy recluses like myself. Lol
I miss my peoples. I really miss being able to connect, meet up and hug the pants off my friends and family.
It is super important to talk about what you are thinking and how you are feeling.
Never, EVER, dismiss your concerns, feelings or thoughts.
In addition, an outside perspective is helpful and you’ll be surprised to hear that other people feel exactly the same as, or similar to you – or at the very least, they can empathise!
Who in your tribe can you talk to, HONESTLY, about how you feel? Yes, they too should be in your LoveCupToolKit!
Positives:
👉 I have learnt a lot about who I am and what I NEED vs what I WANT, both for myself and for my business.
👉 I’ve had the chance to spend more quality time with my partner and I’ve talked to and caught up with friends I haven’t spoken to in ages.
👉 I have discovered that I no longer need to get a mani/pedi every 2-4 weeks (Yearly saving £1,020) WTAF…
👉 I am also not as obsessed with a Costa Coconut Mocha as I thought I was (Yearly saving £424.80). Sad times for Costa. lol
What positive changes have you implemented since lockdown?
Have you discovered what you WANT vs what you NEED?
REMEMBER: BE NICE TO YOU!
It’s easy for Little Miss Nut Nut (that’s the name I’ve given to the annoying, crazy lady in my head) to take control but, give yourself a break, no human is perfect, it doesn’t exist.
Sometimes it’s easier to speak to or seek help from someone you feel is unbiased and non-judgemental.
Please feel free to share this article with a loved one, friend or colleague.
MJx