Written by Monique Jordan-Cave

Leadership and Holistic Coach

How to Quit Your Toxic Job and Leave with Integrity

I hate this for you.

I think it’s fair to say we have all, at some point, been in this position.

You left your job for what you thought was your dream job.

You honestly put in the time and research to make sure that it was a perfect fit and you were super excited to start.

But you soon realise it is NOT what you signed up for. 🤯

👉 Leadership management is pure chaos and based on fear.

👉 The person that is meant to be training you has just been fired and you are now expected to step in.

👉 Your colleagues struggle with integrity, communication and organisational skills.

👉 There are no boundaries.

👉 The gossip is cut throat and it hits you to the bone.

👉 Demand to work crazy hours seem normal.

👉 The gas lighting.

Oooh Chile!

Whether it’s one or all of the above.

Too many icky things have happened and you don’t feel right about it.

But…

👉 They are paying you all the monies!

👉 It’s your dream job for heaven’s sake!

Or

👉 You don’t think you’re ready for the level up and just need to grow a thicker skin.

If you feel like you’re in a toxic work environment and you don’t know what to do.

There is only one answer fellow soul leader.

LEAVE.

You’re unhappy, anxious and stressed.

You know that it isn’t a good fit for you mentally, spiritually and physically and staying too long will harm you and your career.

You deserve to be in a role that feeds your development needs and challenges you in a positive way.

If this resonates with you and you want an exit strategy that is going to help you…

👉 Figure out how to leave on the best terms possible.

👉 Get out quick, sane and hired; and

👉 Maybe with a good reference.

Keep scrolling!

1. It’s Not You, It’s Them

Don’t expect them to change.

If the problem is leadership, the environment might change, but not in your lifetime (unless your 5yrs old).

I hate to say it but, it’s the sad truth.

You may have already tried to speak to someone, with the best intentions, to see if there was anything you could do.

But that didn’t work.

That just puts a marker on your head and labels you a problem.

Now, if the people you are dealing with are toxic, and you tell them you are leaving.

Chances are, they may react in a toxic way.

Be prepared for that!

But remember this fellow soul leader…

“Their reactions do not define you, it defines them”

Their reaction doesn’t dictate how you handle this.

You handle this based on you. Your values and your integrity.

That’s why you’re leaving in the first place!

Be kind. Be quiet. Be strategic and quick.

Do not critic them on the way out.

If they asked for advice or feedback in your exit interview, don’t give it to them.

Do you really think they care about your opinion when you are leaving?

They won’t listen.

This is about doing what is best for you and yours.

2. What Did You Miss?

I have no doubt that you researched and took the time to find this role.

Whilst it’s not always possible to see behind the bright smiles, flashing lights and sexy salary.

With a little hindsight, there may have been some red flags.

Take a moment to reflect and have a think if they said or asked any of these things in your interview.

👉 Can you hit the ground running?

👉 Are you happy to go above and beyond to get the job done?

👉 Do you cope well under pressure?

👉 How do you feel about working on weekends?

👉 How would you handle stressful situations? (please notice that was plural)!

Or;

👉 Did most of the scheduling for the interview take place after working hours?

👉 Did they ask you what you would like to get out of the role?

👉 Did they criticise or belittle the person that was in that job before you?

👉 Was the interview process as hard as swimming across the Atlantic with no swim suit, in the winter, with weights tied to your arms and legs?

These are all signs of a toxic, disorganised and soul crushing company that your vessel and spirit need no part of.

If any of these come up in your next interview.

Don’t walk out.

Run.

Ready for the next steps?

Need 1:1 help transitioning roles?

Click here to learn more about how we can work together.

3. Protect Your Mindset

Chances are you can’t just up and leave without another job.

If you can leave, then great.

Do it and do it quick.

But if you have to stick it out until you can make your move.

Get what you need to manage the storm during your transition.

Developing a positive mindset and attitude.

The honest truth is, what’s happening around you is going to affect you emotionally and mentally.

But you can minimise the impact on your holistic health whilst you figure out your exit strategy.

And I have an exit strategy for you next!

👉 Set Your Attitude:

You don't want to add to the toxicity that already exists.

Being positive will help you keep calm and be productive.

👉 Daily gratitude:

To help you stop feeling discouraged, make a habit of taking the time, once a day, to focus on one thing that you are grateful for.

👉 Focus on the world around you

Free yourself of the constant swirling thoughts by reconnecting yourself with where you are, in the present.

Take three slow deep breaths, feel your feet grounded on the floor and ask yourself:

• What are five things I can see?

• What are four things I can hear?

• What can I smell?

• What does it feel like to touch my knees?

• How does it feel underneath my fingers?

4. Create Your Exit Plan

Before you resign, you need a plan.

Being prepared will remove the uncertainty and decrease the stress involved.

Personally, 90% of the time I have had a new job lined up before leaving the current one.

But, there have been times that crying, rocking back and forth in a foetal position was not looking cute and I had to get out, without one.

You’ll need to consider:

o Are you going to leave before or after you find another job?

o Are you going to be able to support yourself financially after leaving?

o How will you resign?

o Where will you look for a new job?

Tidy up your CV and start nurturing connections with recruiters.

If you are struggling with what to say.

Here is a way to do so with integrity, confidence, firm boundaries and class.

“Thank you for the opportunity. This whole situation is just different to what I thought it was going to be. It doesn’t line up with the way I think. I can’t do this I’m sorry. Thank you for letting me try. I’ve accepted a position elsewhere, Bye Then.”

Ok, ok, ok, don’t say “bye then” just say “thank you and goodbye”.

What will your next steps be?

Let me know in the comments below.

Over to you!

MJx

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How to Quit a TOXIC Job!